From the Couch Feb 23

Avid reader Z. K. writes:

"It's sophomore year of college and it being the first time in my life with complete freedom, I'm ready to party. I invited four friends, two girls and two guys, over for the weekend. We found a party with a free LoneStar keg and we got to drinking. The rest of the night is a blur due to drinking way too much beer way too fast.  The strangest memory I had from that night was after we returned to my apartment for the evening. My friend, who had previously passed out in my room, randomly stood up and started spinning in circles. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Ugh where's the bathroom?" she slurred. “Greatttt, I bet she's going to puke the rest of the night,” I said to myself and pointed her in the right direction.  

I woke up the next morning to my friends pounding on the door and screaming “WaffleHouse!” While we were getting ready to go grab some hangover food, one of my friends couldn’t help but mention how bad my room smells. I opened a window and forgot about it since I was still hazy from last night and didn’t want to deal. I figured the smell was probably from puking in the bathroom and I would clean it up later.  After we returned from breakfast I went to check out the smell.  It was weird, my bathroom wasn't a mess, so I took out my trash, I sprayed air freshener, but nothing changed. After TWO weeks of this smell I happened to open my closet.  To my surprise...there sat a big dry pile of crap, It was like buffalo size crap in the corner of my closet.  My female friend had taken a giant crap in my closet! I bet the stain still remains to this day. I have never been able to look my friend in the eye since. Especially, because I never figured out what she used to wipe with."